Hi Laura — Being Hmong is very nuanced. It’s true that when one person is sick and in the hospital, Hmong people will show up to show support, to bring food and love. Such is close communities. The intimidation that you would see from westernized abusers isn’t so obvious and prevalent in Hmong abusers. We hide our abuse. It rarely makes it outside our doors — at least not when I was a child. If there was abuse, you most likely didn’t see it, the same way other cloistered cultures would hide the ugly in their communities. Like Hasidic Jewish communities, Romany Gypsy communities, Fundamentalist Christian communities — they keep their ugly behind closed walls. They don’t call cops to resolve their issues. They keep their women and children silent.

I do see that with the second and third generation Hmong who have integrated into more mainstream American culture and society becoming much more vocal. I, myself, am first generation and when I was growing up, navigating the waters were much more choppy. We were the first generation to start building the bridge between old world and new.

In every culture, there are pros and cons, so yes, your view of our beautiful culture, our close families, and our supportive communities is absolutely real and true; however, the other side of the coin is true too. Every culture has darkness and it’s our duty to understand both sides.

Thank you for reading and I hope you’ll continue to explore Hmong culture for all that we are — the good and the bad.